Attack of the MINIONS
by shadoweddrm
Summary: Las Noches is about to get a little more interesting with the help of some mischievous arrancar. After some experimenting and spiked tea, chaos is bound to ensue! Rated for innuendos and eventual potty-mouth moments.


**Ina: **Hey, everyone, this is Shadoweddrm, before we go, I would like to say that this story is a collaboration between me and my cousin, ValVal.

**Varu:** Yeppers! We would like to say before we start that WE DO NOT OWN BLEACH OR THE CHARACTERS. We only own Varu and Inazuma. Oh, and just as a warning, our writing styles are kinda different, so it'll be flipping back and forth between the two.

**Ina: **Anyway, we hope that you enjoy out purely crack creation that we are still working on. Chapters will be an 'as-we-go' basis.

**Attack of the MINIONS**

1. Meet the Plot Bunny

As Aizen's meeting was being held one day, two pairs of curious eyes peered down from above. While he was talking, one girl mimicked him with her hand, making funny faces as she mouthed his words. The other one took over, and they barely stifled giggles. The two fell silent as the echoes rang through the empty hall, bright eyes looking at one another of a sudden their noses scrunched up and they sneezed. A massive cero wrapped in lightning blasted downward, destroying their perch and created a circular hole in the table. They shrieked as they fell along with the remnants of their perch to land on the table. As all eyes rested upon them, Gin stepped forward and planted his hands on his hips.

"Papa..." they stammered nervously.

"You two are in so much trouble!" he growled, his smile gone his open eyes glaring at them. They whimpered and scrambled over to Aizen's lap.

"Mama!" they cried, "Don't let papa kill us!"

Everything fell silent for a second before Szayel stood, pointed to Aizen, and shouted, "I KNEW IT!"

* * *

><p>"Who said you could call me dad?" Gin growled at them after Aizen dismissed the meeting.<p>

"We actually called you papa...so..."

"What is the difference?"

"Papa sounds cuter!"

"Just get out for a minute; stay in the hall!" Gin yelled. Obeying their "papa's" wishes, the twins left the room.

_~in the hall~_

Varu was whistling. "I'm bored," Inazuma complained.

"We could go look for Pinky..."

"I agree! Oh Pinky!" Sneaking on tiptoe down the hall singing the theme song to _Pinky and the Brain_, the two girls quickly crept to the laboratory. Peeking through the door, they each grabbed one of Szayel's shoulders.

"Hey Pinky," Varu cooed into Szayel's ear. He patted her on the head but quickly turned to gaze into her face.

"When did you...?"

"We're just magic like that!" Inazuma purred.

"Ne, Pinky, can we go play with the bubblies?" Varu asked. Szayel nodded and they cheered, disappearing to work on their next evil plot. He shrugged and returned to his experiment, not noticing when they slipped past him with a vial of translucent pink liquid.

Gin poked his head in the door a little while later and asked, "Have ya seen the twins?"

"They were in here earlier, but I don't know where they are now." The door closed and Gin grumbled, heading to report his status to Aizen.

"When I find 'em, those girls're in a worlda trouble." He opened the door and made his way over to where Aizen was sitting. He sighed when he saw the two silver bundles curled up in his lap. They looked at one another before a silver mist poofed, and two adult-sized twins were each kissing one of Aizen's cheeks. Aizen used his hand to cover his nosebleed. "Ya prob'lly shouldn't pick on him that much..." Gin said.

They looked at him and asked, "Do you want us to pick on you then?"

"Naa, you can go back to what you were doing..." he started sneaking backward toward the door.

"Gin!" Aizen shouted, causing him to stop. "Where are you going?"

"To get tea?"

Varu jumped up, "I'll go with you!" She dashed out of the door, dragging Gin behind her.

_~on the way back~_

Varu sneaked a peek up at Gin and in a couple of seconds, she poured the pink liquid into the cup. She put the empty bottle safely down her shirt. Gin, however, suspected nothing. As they neared the room, they looked at each other nervously. Moans could be heard down the hallway, and as they got closer they could hear bits of conversation.

"Here?" Inazuma's voice asked.

"Yeah..." Aizen responded before they heard another moan. Varu cautiously poked her head through the door before looking back at Gin.

"It's okay," she whispered as they heard another moan. They walked through the door to see Aizen lying on his stomach on the floor. Inazuma was sitting on his lower back and slowly kneading his muscles with her hands. She looked up, ruby eyes first looking at Gin before landing on Varu's blue gaze. She leaned down and whispered something into Aizen's ear. She got off of him and he stood up. Varu handed him a spiked cup and he drank as he headed to his seat.

"Hmm..." he said as he stopped in his tracks. "I feel odd..." Aizen barely got the words out when his cup shattered on the floor and he fell forward. The girls barely had time to catch him before he hit the ground.

* * *

><p><strong>Ina: <strong>I hope you enjoyed it!

**Varu: **We are having fun torturing the characters in future chapters...

**Gin: **No kiddin'

**Ina: ***glomp* shaddup mama!

**Varu:** Anyway, please tell us what you think! We hope to have another chapter rolled out in the near future! oh, and once again, we do not own the characters of Bleach...or Pinky and the Brain...we just call Szayel 'Pinky'


End file.
